Definitions

Long time gaps again...

I was pondering, the other day, on what I thought defined me. Not so much what exactly defines a person's existence, but what I thought affected my life the most, what people saw when they see me, what part of my life could not be removed, etc.

The reason behind my doing so was because of a dance that I attended. It was a dance that my hall did with a random girls hall in Helaman Halls, and it's not the purpose of this post, so I won't really go into it. Anyway, I danced a couple of times, and had the opportunity to quickly, in three minutes, have a conversation or, as the case may be, introduce myself in about the space of a minute. While I didn't necessarily need to sum up my entire existence in that time, I was lost at how to introduce myself; I didn't really know which parts of my existence I felt were important.

Either way, that's why I started thinking about this. I came to a couple of conclusions. These conclusions are music and knowledge. Actually, as I think about it now, I may be able to condense that into knowledge.

Take away my knowledge, or thirst for knowledge, or ability to learn, and I would have no existence. My entire life, at least up to this point, would be a waste. If I still yearned for knowledge, I could get some back and still be happy, but it would take some time for me to become the person I am now. Take away the other two, and I would need to redefine my life, and take it in a completely different direction.

This may be the case for people in general, but I don't know if it is, and I know it's true for me.

As for music...

If you take away my music, that's not really an issue. If you take away my knowledge of music, that's more of an issue, but still something that I can overcome eventually. But take away music altogether, and a part of me would always be empty... or so I say. I may fill it somewhere else, but at least for a while I would be empty. So yes, not as much as knowledge, but extremely important to me nonetheless.

Another answer is mathematics. Take away my knowledge of math, and I'd have a lot of ground to cover again. Take away my love of mathematics, and I'd have no purpose. Take away mathematics in general... the same thing would happen.

I'm not depressed by my realization of these things. I'm actually fairly happy with it. As a result of my musings, I've come to understand more about myself and what is truly important to me. I feel that focusing on these things can help me to overcome trials and to be more like the person I want to be. I think that person is a better person than I am.

A note on what defines others...

Some people would say our relationships define us. Existentially, I think this is quite valid. It is the effect that we have on people that defines us, in a way; this is one way to measure a person. Another way to define ourselves is by looking at our perception of the world. However, I feel that this way is less telling of character and that it is a self-centered way to look at it. Hence, I feel that relationships do define us, and at the moment I feel that that metric is the best one (except, perhaps, a true understanding of a person's integrity. However, I don't feel that a person can understand his own integrity, much less someone else's).

I think that saying relationships define a person is also correct, for most people, as an answer to the question that I answered for myself toward the beginning of my post. If you take away a person's relationships, it is possible that he will cease to exist, more or less, as the person that he was. I mean, obviously a person's relationships play a very important role in that person's life, but specifically referring to the most important things in said person's life, I feel that relationships is one of the most important for most people.

I do not feel that this is the case with me. I feel that, while removing my relationships would make life harder for me, I would still be the person I am and still be able to focus on what I want to do with my life. I am somewhat disappointed by this, though.

I think that relationships should mean more to me. I think that I should work harder on making them one of the most important things in my life.

So, as a result of my musings, I am also able to see an area that I would like to change. Perhaps I don't want it to evolve into a part of the definition of myself, but I feel that it should certainly play a more important part in my life. Also, it may not be that not having it as important is necessary to be a good person. It, in a way, is merely a desire, but it is one that I feel is a righteous one.

So I end one of my longest posts. Hopefully I included everything important.

Until next time.